Third in a series of posts on corporate culture by Virtas Partners co-founders Tim Czmiel and Neal McNamara. Read their previous posts here and here.
Prudence: One of the four Cardinal virtues from classical philosophy, along with Justice, Fortitude and Temperance. Prudence is the ability to discern the appropriate course of action, including the ability to learn from one’s mistakes.
“Live as if you were living for the second time and as if you had made a lot of mistakes the first time.” —Victor Frankl
Time is a precious gift to each of us and so very fleeting. Sometimes it takes a tragedy for us to rethink the choices we are making to make best use of the limited time in each of our lives. And to make a true reset when necessary.
So let’s get right to the point: What will it take to wake you up to your own mortality? Wasted days can never be reclaimed. For many of those on the corporate fast-track at the beginnings or mid-point of your careers, advancement up the ladder seems paramount, with inevitable sacrifices to be paid in time missed with spouses and children. These may not be conscious decisions, but the result of succumbing to career demands at the expense of precious family time.
Who is guaranteed tomorrow? What will it take to fully appreciate the treasure we have in our families?
A few critically important questions to ask ourselves and our spouses:
- Do I continue to work long hours or travel three or more days a week, keeping me away from my kids as they grow up? (Only to suffer a heart attack or stroke just as I begin to realize what I have missed.)
- Is my employer willing to let me have true balance in my life?
- Is the allure of a large house, luxury cars and a country club membership that may come with career success more compelling to me than spending the time to teach my children to fish or play ball (and then developing those abilities together over the years my children are living at home)?
The corporate culture in which we spend so much of our time will answer those questions for us if we don’t take the initiative to confront the underlying issues ourselves.
Note: the rest of this post is Tim’s personal reflection:
I was one of those in corporate America working at a large consulting firm. I was in the game. I made partner. I seemingly had it all.
My wake-up call came from my (first) wife—who told me over the phone while I was traveling on business that she had learned she had breast cancer. I stayed up all night reflecting on the poor choices I had made in my life. It all was evaporating.
Soon afterward, I resigned my equity partnership to be with my wife, taking her to chemo and radiation treatments, and spending real time with our three young sons. Just being there for them.
Along the way, several firms reached out to offer me extraordinary career opportunities that I promptly turned down. My network remembered me and offered me project work, companies in trouble that needed my turnaround expertise. I could take on one of these jobs at a time and keep my focus on my family, where I was truly needed.
After four recurrences of her cancer over five years, my wife was taken from me. And I died to my former life as well. As time passed, I fulfilled my promise to my wife to raise our sons to become men of character who know and love their faith, and in the process discovered my true vocation and what is most important to me in this world.
I am happy to say that all three sons, my men, are joyful and well on their way to working out the meaning of success for themselves and their families.
I wish you happiness in discovering your own true work and vocation, so that you can define what success looks like for you rather than let society define success for you.
God bless.